Wednesday, December 31, 2014

New Year Resolutions

In reviewing many of the blogs I like to follow I’m seeing a serious trend. It’s a dangerous trend, and one that must be stopped in its tracks before people get hurt. Of course, I’m referring to all the New Year resolutions being bandied about.

These folks are very serious about their resolutions. From things such as, improve my photography skills, to “find my niche,” (Whatever that means. I’ve lost things placed in niches, but never a niche itself.) bloggers are making well-intentioned promises to themselves. Heck, even sane people are doing it. 

The last of 2014 is ticking down as I write this, and I don’t even have one resolution recorded. I’m not bragging, mind you. I’m one of the worst list people you’ll ever meet. If there isn’t a list for me to reference things get ugly. Fast.

Wife: “I thought you were going to go to the dump. The garage smells like a gut pile, and I can hardly pull in for all the trash.” 

Me: “Nuts. I thought it was a little tight loading up the dogs today. Guess I didn’t notice, and definitely forgot to put it on the list..”

Realistically speaking, however, I’d wager the last time you, or even someone you know, actually lived up to a list of resolutions was… never. Why do people insist on this form of self-inflicted pain? Aren’t there enough disappointments in your life? Must you invent them? 

I used to be big on resolutions: lose weight, quit smoking (which I did, but not as a resolution), exercise more, eat healthy, blah-blah-blah ad infinitum. I never managed to live up to those noble promises to self. The final straw was the year I made the resolution to NOT MAKE any resolutions. Sure enough, peer pressure at a New Year’s party found me breaking that one. The year wasn’t even here yet, and I’d already broken my one and only resolution.  And yes, those treacherous resolutions also died in the first days of the new year.

I’ve been advised that one should not make resolutions, but instead set out goals. Right. Calling a resolution a goal is like calling a rabid dog a mad dog. In either case, you’re likely to get bit on the ass if you mess with them. 

So here’s to resolutions: May you keep them, and keep them to yourself. As for me, I’ll take a pass on the helping of guilt and ignore resolutions. That’s the first thing on my list for 2015.