Monday, September 7, 2015

A Little Something About Nothing and Lazy

Just like the poltergeist...

The extended stretch between posts has undoubtedly been apparent to both of this blog’s regular readers. After all, it has been six months. And as much as I don’t enjoy being the bearer of bad news, the blog is back. Even worse news: regular posts are in the offing. (At least that’s the intention, so just put the champagne away.)

There were, no doubt, those who inferred from the last post that the IRS had found a new way for me to spend my time. Possibly due to some minor misplacement of a decimal point. I’m happy to report that is not so. The absence was a self-imposed break of six months. The ostensible purpose of the break was to regenerate my creative juices and find experiences worth blogging about. 

My sister was a little more pointed, and possibly more accurate, in her assessment of the sabbatical. “What’s the deal? You haven’t posted anything in forever. You’re getting awfully lazy in your old age.”

You have to work on lazy, sometimes.

Lazy? Really? Well, okay. Really.

I’d love to report the time was well spent finding the true meaning of life, the cure for some horrible affliction, or making strides toward world peace. However, lazy though I may be, at least I’m honest. Nothing particularly constructive has come to pass from my lack of honest endeavors in the last 180-plus days. 

While it may be hard to believe, it hasn’t been easy being a total slug. There were days it took determination to do nothing.  My wife would frequently test my resolve.

“What are you going to do today?” Mrs. Poynor would ask before she left for work. 

“Not entirely sure. I have an urge to write something, or maybe do something constructive. On the other hand, there’s a great deal of nothing that still needs doing. I’ll have another cup of coffee and think it over. Coming up with the best plan for nothing should take most of the morning. After lunch I’ll evaluate and reconsider the plan. It will undoubtedly need some tweaking. By that time you should be home, and I’d hate to interrupt whatever plans you have.” 

Motivational control is the key to nothing.

“If you get bored, there’s a list of things you could do on the counter.”

“Boredom is just an excuse for those who lack sufficient control of their motivation; sissies who can’t handle the stress of extended nothing.” 

“You are truly an inspiration of nothing to the lazy.”

“I strive. But let’s not make anything out of it. Too much effort.” 

After six long months, something must come out of nothing. It has: realization that as good as “doing nothing” sounds, nothing is better in small, controlled doses. A person who does nothing day in and day out soon discovers doing something sounds good. In fact, it sounds damn good. After awhile, an anything something has more allure than the grandest and most sparkling nothing.

So, here’s to saying good-bye to nothing and looking forward to something. Even if it doesn’t mean anything.

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