Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Product Guy Father's Day Gifts

I am the Product Guy, and I’m here to help. Still stumped for that perfect gift for Dad, or Hubby? Are all parties concerned sick of the same ol’, “Here’s a tie, hope you like it,” routine? Well let me help you, help Dad by offering three wonderful options for that perfect gift.

Best of all, each of these items is sold with the Product Guy’s 100% guarantee.  The Product Guy guarantees 100% that if you are not satisfied with each of these nifty items, you will want your money back. 

How fitting it is that Dad’s special day arrives early summer!  What luck!  We stand on the cusp of lawn and garden project season.  Every dad can look forward to waking on June 16, to a veritable cornucopia of helpful items to make short work of his summer chores.

When it comes to gardens, what is the one task dreaded by everyone?  That’s right, loosening up that old, tight soil.  And that’s exactly why the Dirty Wrencher miracle manual dirt tiller is the perfect gift for Father’s Day.  Specially designed by a team of unemployed chiropractors, and tested by life members of the Macon County Penal Farm Field Team, the Dirty Wrencher miracle manual tiller has proven itself time and again on some of the most stubborn dirt in the world. 

With its very own patented “jab, twist, wrench” technology, the Dirty Wrencher will have your dad done and stretched out on his back practically as soon as he starts!

Put a hurt to the dirt with the Dirty Wrencher!   Order your Dad his very own Dirty Wrencher manual dirt tiller today by calling 1-888-HURT DAD.  On approved credit, direct, priority shipping is available from Popp, Strane & Puhl Industries, makers of the Dirty Wrencher. 

If your dad’s garden efforts run along a larger scale, maybe the Dirt Bug pocket tiller, brush hog, power mulcher, hedge clipper and power cheese grater is more his style.  Small enough to go anywhere, the Dirt Bug was designed by a retired mechanical engineer with way too much time on his hands. Mortimer deMentia developed the Dirt Bug to allow him the opportunity to continue working in his garden following an unfortunate, debilitating, back strain from using a manual dirt tiller.

The heart of the Dirt Bug system is its incredibly small, yet unbelievably noisy two-cycle engine, which Dr. deMentia fitted with interchangeable attachments.  With the Dirt Bug, Dad won’t just till the back forty, he’ll trim it, clear it and mulch it.  And when the work is done and it’s time to party, don’t put that Dirt Bug away!  With another quick attachment switch, the Dirt Bug will whip out enough grated nacho cheese for 58 of Dad’s closest friends in less than a minute. 

The deMentia Enterprises Dirt Bug is available wherever fine farming, gardening or culinary implements are sold.  Remember: You’d be bug crazy not to get a deMentia.

After Dad clears out the back forty, he’ll need a way to clean up all those stumps.  There is nothing that detracts more from the beauty of a well kept lawn than those large, unsightly stumps.  You can’t pull them out, you can’t burn them out, and Dad sure isn’t going to dig them out.  They’re even more than a Dirt Bug can handle.  Dad is going to need some professional help. 

Do it with just one application of Rot-Ur-Stumpoff chemical stump remover.  It couldn’t be easier, or safer!  Tested and proven entirely safe, Rot-Ur-Stumpoff is harmless to the environment.  Simply sprinkle the recommended amount of Stumped-Knot on the that troublesome stump, sit back, relax and watch the miracles of modern chemistry do their thing.  In only eight to ten years you won’t even know that stump was there!

For only $19.95, plus shipping, all those leftover tree problems can just be melted away.  Call 1-888-ROOT ROT today, and help Dad root out his yard problems. 

That’s it for now, but remember: if Dad doesn’t go absolutely wild over one of these presents, give him another tie next year.

Note: I'm going on a little Alaskan adventure. Hope to get somewhere I can post something, but if not, you'll get all the sad details as soon as possible.


  1. I like how the Dirt Bug also grates cheese - very versatile.

  2. I'm going to order one of each! Oh, and Stacey, I was in a huge hardware store in the Amish country in Ohio and they have an old fashioned wringer washing machine that has an attachment for a sausage-maker - no kidding!