John Denver Parody

This is the season of good will and good food. Not the healthy, “Here, have a juicy apple,” type of food, but the “Have another piece of thousand layer baklava and a quart of eggnog” kind of food. Food that puts a layer of fat on your eyelids just looking at it. This is the five-week stretch of the year that makes “lose some weight” the number one New Year’s resolution.


It is also the season of the office Christmas party. What better way to celebrate the season than by making a fool of yourself singing karaoke in front of your boss? 

I was contemplating the music/food  aspects of the season while cleaning up my office earlier today, and what to my wondering eyes did appear? Well, by golly, an old hand-scribbled parody of John Denver’s classic (and personal favorite), “Thank God I’m A Country Boy.” It was one of those writings jotted down on a whim, stuffed into a pigeon hole and forgotten.


So what does this have to do with anything about the current season? Well, the lyrics are about food, and the tune will provide a much needed break from Robert Goulet’s “Little Drummer Boy,” dogs barking “Jingle Bells” and the kid waxing on about getting her own hippopotamus. So if you’re going to your office Christmas party, complete with the obligatory karaoke competition, here’s a sure-fire way to wow your friends and co-workers. 

Thank God I’m a Chubby Boy (to the tune of “Thank God I’m a Country Boy)

Life as a chubby boy is kind of laid back,
There ain't much a chubby boy won't eat for a snack.
Never eat me just one, when I can eat the whole pack!
Thank God I'm a chubby boy!

Kraut on a dog and a burger with fries,
My belly's much bigger than both of my eyes.
Washed down with a shake of gargantuan size,
Thank God I'm a chubby boy!

CHORUS

Well, I got me a plate and I got a big middle
I start every day with bacon from a griddle. 
If it ain't fried in grease, well it ain't worth a diddle.
Thank God I'm a chubby boy!

Don't worry 'bout fat, or high cholesterol,
If there ain't extra helpings, then that helping's too small!
Never take just a portion if your plate will hold it all.
Thank God I'm a chubby boy!

I don't worry much  about health and exercise,
I ain't like the ladies, don't care about my thighs.
If I pack on the pounds, I'll just buy a larger size.
Thank God I'm a chubby boy!

REPEAT CHORUS


Okay everybody, go forth, have some fun and make a joyous noise!